Excuses, excuses

A necessary interlude from eating crackers, supping luke warm water and sulking.

An important conference call with a large client of a company that I have worked for for many years, and am now freelancing for.

I hate conference calls at the best of times, it is constantly impossible to interject a meaningful, useful comment or issue in between silences, apologies and multiple conversation strands (none of which I ever appear to be a part of).

I was introduced to this conference, unaware my ex-boss was already within the conversation. I started introducing myself to these incredibly scary, high powered business people within this incredibly important client business, as the 'HTML person that had been doing a lot of work on the project' and continued in nervous, vague and unstructured babble, until my ex-boss dragged me out of my pit of self despairing and waffle to tell them what I was actually here for.

I had, incidentally, not fifteen minutes before, had an informed, eloquent conversation with my ex-boss, a PM and a designer regarding this project and had generally not made such an incredible arse of myself during that previous, yet unimportant and dramatically overshadowed, conversation.

Coupled with my inability to articulate myself in front of important clients, I also have an unrelenting and stubborn headache, and the sickness is showing remarkable vigor this morning, tearing through the weak barriers of my acupressure bands and running riot, stirring up numerous grumblings in the stomach acids rebelling currently within my stomach.

Not in the best of moods, and it is sadly only 10:30. An age until I can break for yet more carbs (the cream crackers aren't touching my wretchedly active stomach acids this morning), no drink I can enjoy, not even that hallowed thing, once my partner, my soul mate, my cup of tea, and a pile of work to complete.

I am debating on how to redeem myself from my former self humiliation, but the only plaguing words, the only accurate description, is something I can only utter to my partner (which I do regularly).

I'M PREGNANT.

I think that just about covers me for any grumpiness, sulkiness, stubbornness, poorliness, depressive episodes and general lack of communicative abilities across all social and work scenarios for the next 7 months.

Shame my ex-boss and everyone at this very important client just thinks I'm a bit thick.